To my old self,
Hi little one, how was your day today? Or how hard was it today, may I ask? You know, you cross my mind quite a lot of times lately. It is hard to let you go and leave you behind. Because I know how scared you are, and yet you don’t show. I know how terrified you must be, at the thought of many things happening, and so many unknown adventures coming your way with a pace you find it hard to match. Your hands are so tiny, and look at you, trying to fit the entire world in it. Your heart is fragile, and your soul, I’d subtly compare it to a flower, and I’d still be wrong. I am aware that you feel like giving up, most days of the week. How you just want to snuggle up in a corner, hoping no one talks to you, because no one is going to understand. How going to school feels like being helpless underwater. I wish I could be the person you need.
Loving yourself even though the world is trying to make you feel otherwise is the most important thing you need to understand. It is going to take you a long way – a way that has good, and bad; a way that has happy, and sad. But all the evil there is, and all the times you are stumbling around a little, clueless about what to do and where to go, is making you stronger.
I know how beautiful your mind is, and how the world is unaware of it. But hang in there, because this beauty is going to take you places. There are people not treating you in the rightful manner, I know, but one day they are going to realise and come back to you, with apologies in their hearts and regrets on their faces. And you? you, are going to forgive them. I know forgiveness is an act of bravery, and how capable you are of it.
When you grow up, the world is still going to be cruel, with a splash of nice. Telling you otherwise, would be comforting you with lies. You are going to try and fit the entire world in your hands no matter how old you get, because that is how you are – falling down and gracefully getting back up.
Recovery is possible, and is waiting for you.
You are doing great, and I wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t for the strength you have given me. Good job, kid.
~ Jhalak Ubhriyani.